Will Rogers , the Okie American humorist and showman, would have a ton of material to work with these days. Record depressed numbers of all sorts everywhere , divergent economic forecasters, rampant gloom and doom - isms , politicians on all sides of the spectrum trying to outlie his "colleagues"...Will would have some inspirational and humorous anecdotes to prop us up. Here's a few of his quips, some of which are still very applicable for our present state.
WILL ROGERS - ISMS
- A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
- An economist's guess is liable to be just as good as anybody else's.
- Calvin Coolidge didn't say much , and when he did he didn't say much.
- Comedians haven't improved. Nothing has improved but taxes.
- Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie.." until you can find a rock.
- Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it.
- Don't gamble ; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it til it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.
- Don't squat with your spurs on.
- Everybody is ignorant, only in different subjects.
- Good judgement comes from experience, and that comes from bad judgement.
- I don't care how little your country is, you got a right to run it like you want to. When the big nations quit meddling, the world will have peace.
- If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
- If you get to thinkin you're a person of some influence, try orderin around someone else's dog.
- Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
- Never miss a good chance to shutup.
- Nothing you can't spell will ever work.
- Outside of traffic, there is nothing that has held this country back as much as committees.
- So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
- Take diplomacy out of a war and the thing would fall flat in a week.
- The more you read and observe about this politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
- The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
- There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
- There is nothing so stupid as an educated man, if you get off the thing he was educated in.
- There's two theories to arguin with a woman. Neither one works.
- This country is not where it is today on account of any one man . It is here on account of the real common sense of the Big Normal Majority.
- What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
- Never kick a cowchip on a hot day.
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